Developing resilience is key for maintaining and keeping good mental, physical and spiritual health. Without resilience, one breaks under pressure instead of just gently bending.
→What is resilience? The capacity to recover quickly from difficulties. You can bounce back swiftly after stress or difficulty in your life.
Research shows that the amount of resilience a person possesses is a greater factor for determining success in life rather than your IQ.
Some people have a natural tendency towards resilience, while others are bent more towards emotional reactions including being overwhelmed by difficulties in life. I believe some resilience is part of our DNA, but I also believe some resilience is learned by your environment or by the people who raised you. Take for instance, if you were raised with an overly emotional mother whose first reaction to problems was to show negative emotions and you never saw how she overcame her difficulties; chances are a part of what you perceived became ingrained in you. The good news is you can learn how to become resilient. Learning to become resilient starts with your thoughts, and renewing your mind to believe what God says in His word about you. If your thoughts are negative, it is probable you are not a resilient person.
Reflect: Would you consider yourself a resilient person? Why or why not? What traits did your caretakers show you that helped or hindered your resiliency?
Resilient people…
→Resilient people can cope with problems and setbacks. Those that lack resilience become overwhelmed when distressing situations occur, tend to focus on the problem, use unhealthy coping mechanisms to deal with life’s challenges, and are slower to recover from setbacks.
→Resilient people don’t live life in denial, but they understand that setbacks occur, and that life can be painful sometimes.
→Resilient people do not remain focused on the negative and disengage rapidly from problems that appear unsolvable. A key to resilience is to know when to “cut your losses,” and move on to problems that are solvable.
→Resilient people still mourn losses and experience grief, but they can find redeeming potential in most situations. When non-resilient people face difficulties all their emotions turn negative. If things are good, the non-resilient person is good, but if things are bad, they feel bad.
→Resilient people can find the silver lining in almost any adverse circumstance. Resilient people will find, seek, and search for the good in their challenges.
→Resilient people are grateful people and are always counting their blessings. They might say, “I am sad that this happened, but I am blessed about this.”
→Resilient people are not victims and don’t wallow in self-pity.
→Resilient people are overcomers, whether it is their childhood wounds or current painful situations.
→Resilient people are hopeful. They are hopeful brighter days are ahead and they trust God will use their pain for His purposes.
→Resilient people take good care of themselves such as with exercise, eating healthy, and maintaining a healthy support system.
→Resilient people do not focus on their problems but focus on what is right in their lives.
→Resilient people are not whiners and complainers. They don’t tell their problems repeatedly to others to gain pity.
→Resilient people are fighters; they don’t back down and they never give up! When they get temporarily knocked down, they come back up stronger.
→Resilient people move forward; they don’t keep looking back in the past in regret and they don’t project what may happen in the future.
How to become a more resilient person:
1. Wait to respond to an upsetting situation. Develop impulse control by stopping first to consider whether reacting negatively will benefit you in the long run.
2. Learn to tolerate discomfort. Think each time something occurs negatively or troubling if your response would have been different if you would have waited an hour to respond. This response is about sitting with an emotion without taking any actions.
3. You can feel your emotions but don’t let your emotions spiral out of control. Your emotions will bounce back quicker when you don’t allow yourself to stew for days over a situation. Deal with those raw emotions and feel them fully but don’t allow yourself to stay in a negative state.
4. Be okay with not having everything figured out. Move on to things that are solvable.
5. Focus on what’s right, not what’s wrong. Where your attention goes, your energy flows.
6. Believe that you are in control not people or circumstances. You have the choice to respond or react.
7. See the positives in your situations that are difficult. Choose to look for the silver lining in troubling circumstances.
8. Laugh at your difficulties. This can shift your perspective from seeing things as a threat to seeing them as a challenge, this can alter the way your body reacts to stress.
9. Learn from your mistakes. See your obstacles as challenges and allow the adversity to make you stronger.
10. Realize that pain and grief are temporary states of affairs and that bad times are also temporary. Don’t get stuck believing pain, grief and hardships will go on continually.
11. Prepare yourself ahead of time for emotional difficulties. Adept quickly to what comes your way, with acceptance and the ability to feel the raw emotions but not allowing yourself to remain stuck.
12. Surround yourself with other resilient people. If your associates play the victim or wallows in self-pity, seek out strong, resilient people supportive people.
13. Don’t waste time in a negative state. If you’re stuck in traffic, take advantage of the longer commute instead of engaging in a tyrant of negative reactions. You recognize your temper, anger or bad mood, won’t change the situation; instead, it may increase your blood pressure, increase your heartrate or give you a headache.
14. Don’t dwell. You don’t dwell about past decisions or worry about your future.
15. Tragedies and traumas don’t mark you for life. You can overcome the sadness and become stronger because of the hard times.
16. Setbacks are seen as minor interruptions. You never give up when setbacks occur and lose your determination.
17. Reduce hurt by not taking things personally. The way people choose to respond to you is about them. Don’t let other people control you.
📣 Let’s Discuss:
What tip(s) can you use to start becoming more resilient?
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