We all know who they are. In fact, if you are reading this, you might be that person.
You are the one people call when their world is crashing down. Your prayers can move mountains, and you always have a word of encouragement for the downcast. You are the strong one. The anchor. You give more than you take. People look to you to give them the wisdom and encouragement for the situations they are dealing with.
But what happens when the encourager starts to feel depleted? What happens when the person who constantly pours out looks down and realizes their own well has run completely dry?
It is one of the quietest crises in the Body of Christ: the weary encourager. —
The Silent Burden of the Strong Christian
Encouragers often fall into a dangerous trap: the belief that they aren’t allowed to be weak. Have you ever believed this? What would happen if you stepped back to get a drink for your empty well?
Because others rely on your faith, you might feel like exposing your own doubts, exhaustion, or grief will stumble those around you. Do you beleive you have to be the strong one? Perhpas ypu have always had to be the strong one in your family, and you don’t know when you need to be refilled and encouraged.
So, you mask it. You flash a reassuring smile, utter a polite “I’m blessed,” and keep pouring from an empty cup. Have you ever done this? I cannot tell you the number of times that I have done this so that I could keep serving.
I have learned that when I need encouragement, I step back and I ask the Holy Spirit to encourage me in whatever ways He feels would be best for me. It may be through another person, or it may be through a song or a message that I hear.
Truth: Encouragers need encouragement!
God’s Remedy for the Exhausted Soul
When Elijah was at his absolute lowest, God didn’t scold him for a lack of faith. He didn’t give him a lecture. God met him right where he was with profound tenderness. If you are an encourager who needs encouragement today, look at how God restored Elijah, because He wants to do the same for you:
1. He Addresses Your Physical Needs First
Before God spoke to Elijah’s spirit, He provided food and sleep. Twice, an angel woke Elijah just to tell him to eat.
“Journey is too much for you.” — 1 Kings 19:7
Sometimes, the most spiritual thing you can do is take a nap, eat a nutritious meal, and step away from the noise. God built us with limitations; honoring those limitations is an act of stewardship, not selfishness.
2. He Invites You into the Quiet
God wasn’t in the wind, the earthquake, or the fire. He was in the gentle whisper. When you spend all your time speaking words of life into others, your ears can get crowded. You need to retreat to a quiet place where you aren’t the leader, the mentor, or the strong friend. You are just a child listening to their Father. Have regular times that you can sit with the Lord and allow Him to minister to you.
3. He Sends a Companion
God gently reminded Elijah that he wasn’t alone—there were 7,000 others who hadn’t bowed to Baal. Shortly after, God provided Elisha to walk alongside him. You were never meant to carry the weight of the ministry, your family, or your friendships by yourself.
How to Receive When You’re Used to Giving
If you find yourself in a season where you desperately need the comfort you so freely give to others, here is your permission slip to shift your posture:
- Drop the Armor: Let a few trusted people see behind the curtain. Tell a mature brother or sister in Christ, “I am really struggling right now, and I need you to pray for me because I don’t have the words to pray for myself.”
- Be a Consumer, Not Just a Provider:. Listen to worship music purely to let it wash over you, not to lead anyone else into the presence of God.
- Remember the Source: You are not the source of encouragement; you are just the pipe it flows through. If the pipe is clogged with exhaustion, it needs to be cleared by the Holy Spirit.
A Prayer for the Encourager
Father, I lift up the person reading this who is always the strong one. You see the hidden tears they cry after they’ve finished comforting everyone else. You know the weight they carry. I ask that right now, Your Holy Spirit would minister to their heart. Give them the courage to rest, the humility to ask for help, and a profound revelation of Your love for them—not for what they do, but for who they are. Refresh their bones and fill their well to overflowing. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
“The generous will prosper; those who refresh others will themselves be refreshed.” > —
Proverbs 11:25 (NLT)
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Offering hope, encouragement, support, & guidance to women of God to overcome being a survivor and living the abundant life in Christ. Isaiah 61:1-3. Motivating women to be all that God has designed them to be by dismantling strongholds, uncovering unhealthy "roots", and equipping women to know their true identity in Christ. Bringing healing to your mind, body, and spirit.
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